Transexual Jesus!

Made you look!

Anyway here is the story

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/8342056.stm

Transsexual Jesus sparks protests

Jesus, Queen of Heaven portrays Christ as a transsexual

Wasn't meant to spark controversy? Yeah riiight!
But an interesting comment was made that if we had Mohammed portrayed as a transexual, then you can be sure all hell(tm) would have broken loose!

So in the interests of f airness, I wish to redress (see what I did there!) the situation and add another (badly drawn) picture.

There you go. Mohammed in a dress.

Please can crazy people limit themselves to one death threat in the comments section please.

Thought I'd answer this anoymous person on the main blog. :-)

Been a bit shy on the blogging front lately... however, this gem landed in my comments section. My new comments are, quite helpfully, coloured red.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Until your god, Science, can keep you from dying you will have to deal with the real one at some point.
Scientific studies show that belief in Jesus greatly reduces stress, anger, and hostility in most people...if you believe those sort of studies.

So I replied...

15 September 2009 21:16

Randomfish said...

Science is not a god.
Belief in a deity will reduce stress if you are the kind of person who worries about death and ghost stories.
A lot of people who call themselves christians are, in my opinion, LESS tolerant of others. At worst they see themselves as morally superior or at least, a better person for having that 'belief'.
A lot of christians ARE less hostile, but too few will turn the other cheek as recommended by Jesus. I have a great deal of respect for nice people. I just don't think that being a believer makes the slightest bit of difference. I personally would rather trust a genuine nice person than someone who is doing it because they are 'told to' or will 'go to heaven'.

So 'anonymous' made quite a few reply statements...

15 September 2009 21:28

Anonymous said...

Science is not a god.
- - - - - -
I'm glad I'm getting through to you.

AARRggghh!!! Since WHEN has ANY atheist EVER thought 'Science' was a 'god'. This is an utterly ridiculous statement that has no merit answering. (They should try getting their nose out of a bible and try a dictionary for a change!)

...but too few will turn the other cheek as recommended by Jesus.
- - - - - -
We do try harder than the folks who sit in the bleachers calling the fouls.

Sorry, I'm not sure what this statement means. :-) Being British and all that. But in my personal experience and opinion (it is MY blog after all) I have found NO difference to the many atheists that easily forgive others. Forgiveness is not the exclusive right to religious folk. Declaring a 'Holy war' on the other hand...

16 September 2009 05:31

Anonymous said...

You exhibit very little tolerance in your post for those you claim are intolerant.
Why complain about Christians who don't turn the other cheek? Isn't this an indication that they are rejecting what you also despise? Perhaps they are well on their way to your side. Otherwise, if you are in agreement with this teaching, then you concede that Christianity does carry some merit.

I readily admit, I like a good rant. Clears the air. Stops you bottling stuff up inside. I apologise but I really hate to see a waste of intellect. (This is the reason I became a teacher!) When someone informs me that the Earth is 4000 years old, my first thought is 'You poor, misinformed person.' If they carry on then I'll try to explain, reasonably, why they are wrong. And if they still carry on then I will mock them.

16 September 2009 15:21

Anonymous said...

I personally would rather trust a genuine nice person than someone who is doing it because they are 'told to' or will 'go to heaven'.
- - - - - - - - -
You must do some interesting screening when someone stops to help you fix a flat or pick up something you dropped on the ground....Sir, are you helping me because you want to go to heaven or because you think I might give you a tip? I hope you are helping me for no reason other than for evolutionary and scientific purposes, as this is a genuine motivation and will allow me to trust you in much higher matters such as babysitting my young daughters and managing my bank account.

That was funny! :-) Actually I might start asking people who help me! Seriously. And this is what I predict. Most people will do nice things BECAUSE they are nice people. Not because they are hoping to go to heaven/ nirvanna/ valhalla/ reincarnate as a cow etc... My conclusion, they don't need a sky pixie. You may disagree. (And I'm sure you will...)

16 September 2009 15:34

Anonymous said...

Belief in a deity will reduce stress if you are the kind of person who worries about death and ghost stories.
- - - - - - -
Belief in science will induce stress if you are the kind of person who worries about global warming and aliens.

I am actually getting my breath back from laughing out loud at this! Thanks. The idea of aliens would be wonderful! Science has been able to predict events about global warming and the scientific community are working together to provide alternative methods of energy supply. Scientific discoveries are improving lives, saving lives, getting us closer to understanding the wonderful world around us! Having a scientific knowledge has enhanced my life immeasurably. The very fact you are actually criticising science is only available to you because of .... wait for it... scientific discoveries!!! (Electricity, plastics, semiconductors, EM radiation, materials science, electrons.... oh I really could go on.)

Science has made me (and billions of others) happier, safer and more aware of what is happening around us.

If you think you will find all the answers in a holy book, I honestly, HONESTLY, pity you. :-(

16 September 2009 15:48

Anonymous said...

I have a great deal of respect for nice people. I just don't think that being a believer makes the slightest bit of difference.
- - - - -
So, you mean you consider yourself no nicer than the average ignorant ****wit? You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
The truth is, you think you are better because you can be just as nice with no extra help from God...isn't that right?

Yes.

Sorry, did you want me to explain (again!)
Anyone who does nice things BECAUSE they believe in a god is a ****wit. I am a nice person (well enough people tell me anyway) and I will recieve NO benefit from some supernatural power who can mystically weigh up all my deeds.

Simple version: An altruistic person is nicer than someone who expects a reward for their actions.

Hope that clears things up. Thanks, as always for taking the time to respond to my blog. :-)

So what have the scientists ever done for us?

Looks like the UK have a new website to promote Science.

http://sciencesowhat.direct.gov.uk/

I've noticed quite a few 'pro science' programs recently. Lots of explosions, wacky experiments, etc to grab the ever decreasing attention span of our 'blipvert media generation'. People are being subtly turned on to science...

And more importantly, IMHO, people are finally being told what science has done for us already. All those creature comforts, all our understanding of the world, communication, travel, entertainment - we are lucky enough to be able to find out about what excites us, we can overcome disabilities, we can be artists, learn whole new skills, have a global voice...

I owe an awful lot to all those curious individuals who had the question... "Why?" and "What if...?"

Which make me all the angrier when I hear ignorant f***wits, praising whatever flavour god they follow, and thanking it for all it has provided for them.

If you are one of these people ,try this prayer instead...

Dear figment of my limited imagination,
Bless you my insecurity
For stunting my understanding of the world
For my fears and ignorance
And for your benevolent indifference to us all.
Amen

Hope that helps. ;-)

Maybe science and religion can coexist. But it could never be on equal terms. Religion is going to be around a lot longer than me. Maybe in the climate of extremism we will see polarised groups emerge, possibly another War that will be defined by what sky pixie is best? Science has enabled us to communicate and see the world around us. We should be educating, learning, discovering... NOT adhering to some misinformed, vague superstitious crap that kept the masses in check thousands of years ago.

We can only hope.

Proof of atheism!

Mitchell and Webb comedy sketch.

Thanks to JL for letting me know about this. :-)

I'm a bit of a boardgame geek...

I love a good boardgame. The challenge, the interaction - you don't get the same 'feel' from a computer game (and I love playing computer games). I'm talking about games like Agricola, Puerto Rico, Small World, Carcassonne and Munchkin and many more (at least another 50!)
I have the idea for designing a game based on religion. Well, why not? I know quite a bit about it. :-)

The premise being you have to create a religion and persuade as many social groups as you can to follow your ideals. You have the choice of being nasty or nice, use wealth or corruption and even brainwashing. Get enough followers and you can dump them to gain new followers that will be more effective in spreading the 'truth'.

Add a heavy dose of sarcasm, sprinkle it with irony and roast in the fiery pits of hell and I'm hoping to create a fun filled family game of humour and megalomania.

L Ron Humbug, I owe you a 'thanks' in the credits!

If I get a prototype going, then I might need some play testers and feedback or ideas from the blogging community. (Remember - I want my boys to be able to play this game too! So lets avoid the kiddy fiddling priests... always best to, I find!)

I'll let you all know how it goes... :-)

Jesus action figure - Part 2

Straight from the pages of Ephesians 6:11-17

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

13 Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled round your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,

15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

OK, so I couldn't find a 'belt of truth' but I think that the 'Axe of Unnatural Death' and the 'Power Glove of Heathen Smiting' more than make up for it. ;-)

PRODUCT RECALL ALERT!!!
It appears that our 'One TRUE god(tm)' figures have been returned to stores amid claims that the box was empty. Sorry but NO refunds will be given as it is clearly not our fault you can't see it!

God is watching you having sex.

I LOVE the diversity of christianity!

Behold a link about a polish priest (who is celibate) offering advice about sex in marriage. It's already sold out in Poland.

"Every act - a type of caress, a sexual position - with the goal of arousal is permitted and pleases God."

Now, if I was a believer... I would be a little unnerved! ("Oh, come on darling, let's do it for Jesus. Think of it as a prayer...") The same god, who I hasten to add, is pleased by the smell of a burning goat.

Sorry, but the comedy is too much to bear. :-D

Read the article here!
... and feel free to add your own jokes / comments / opinions.

Conversations with a (nice) christian.

This is a response to my 'Alpha Course' post. (If it has scrolled off the bottom of the page then 'clicky!' )
'JL' is one of those nice christians who (in my experience) make up the majority of christians that are willing to talk to me. Currently we are in the middle of a friendly 'holy war' at our school, where she is trying to get me to appreciate Jesus and I am bestowing the gift of Pastafarian knowledge. I have shown her undeniable evidence of FSM's power by making her jump and pointing out how the kind FSM brings her safely back to Earth with his noodly appendages. (He loves us all and keeps us safe - FACT!)

Randomfish, I believe I might even have been the long-haired born-again that suggested an Alpha course to you.

Yep, The most recent one.

It's not like you have anything to lose, anyway :-p

Well, my scientific reasoning for one...

re: 'based on a relationship, not knowledge'
It always makes me smile that people get so OUTRAGED that the Bible is younger than Jesus, or at least most of it. That it's been *gasp* ADDED TO(!!!111) over the years. Of course it has. Ours is a living God. He didn't just speak once 6000 years ago (you heard right, DB!) and that was it. If you develop a relationship with your living God, he will speak to you. And he will tell you do not have a religion based on laws, you have a new life based on His loving gospel.

We agree here. Religion (especially christianity) has evolved. It has HAD to! Let's face it, if we had the same thinking as we did 1000 years ago, you would look pretty stupid now.
We don't get ill because god is punishing us. We get better because we 1) take medicine or 2) naturally get better over time.
Gods don't live in the sky. We are not the centre of the universe. Evolution is happening. The Earth is over 6000 years old. Morality is not owned by any religion...
Damn those astronomers, doctors, biologists, historians, geologists, philosophers...! They have had to make those crrraaaazzzyyy christians do some drastic rejigging of what to believe! LOL.

'Faith is more important than logic'

Logic is more important than blind faith. Blind faith is an insult to intelligence and reason. Blind faith can be harmful. For example, feel my pain when Arsenal lose! (Thankfully rarely!)

Don't pretend that you have faith in nothing, that faith in itself is ridiculous. You have faith in love, if nothing else, surely.

I DO have faith in humanity; kindness of strangers; love and hope. They are essential for understanding our humanity. I just don't attribute an imaginary friend to fill the gaps in knowledge.

Logic tells me that you can't get evolution from one species to another, only within species. Science tells me that even after thousands and thousands of generations of fly mutations, a fly is still a fly. So how did every living species in the world evolve from a fish? Including, presumably: turnips, scabies mite, chinchillas, sharks etc etc? Are you not putting your faith in a straaaange theory of evolution, hmmmmmm? ;)

Fellow humanists/ atheists, JL is a really nice person and please do not judge someone on their lack of understanding of evolution.

http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/different-patterns-of-evolution.html
http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/sat-ii-biology-understanding-origins-of-life.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution

'Because of who god is, we will always have questions'
Of course. And let's face it, when Jesus came and proclaimed himself the Son of God, not many people believed him, and what more proof could God really give us? Perhaps you would like a book full of graphs and diagrams, haha.

I proclaim to be the leader of Alpha Centauri. Can you see the problem with that? Jesus was not the first prophet to claim to lead the Jews. He happened to be the most famous. Stories told, generations later, wrote the gospels with a bias to make him more holy. Events were taken from a wide variety of religions (resurrection, death on a cross, virgin birth, claim of godhood, miracles, 12 followers, betrayal, ascension) sometimes even directly rewriting existing religions. See Dionysus, Osiris, Mithra...
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_jcpa3.htm
Jesus, the man, existed.
Jesus, the son of a god, sadly (but it would actually have been rather groovy) is HIGHLY UNLIKELY. More likely a work of fiction and copyright theft.

"You are sinners and in need of a lord and saviour".
Hell for you probably isn't the same idea of hell for me. I think there is a cartoon idea based on lakes of fire with a little red devil with pitchforks. In reality, to me anyway, hell is death; it is separation from love and joy; from contentment and safety and the Lord. For me, now that I know the Lord, no pit of burning sulphur could ever hold as much sadness and fear as separation from His love. But that's just me.

Ahh, you refer to the 'nice' Hell. Depends on how literally one takes the bible doesn't it? Even Jesus refers to Gehenna.
Two very useful sites below
http://www.tentmaker.org/articles/jesusteachingonhell.html
and this is pure class.
http://www.jesus-is-lord.com/hellreal.htm (This nutter is doing theism no favours!)

And finally...
My final point I made in a rather fun theological debate is that JL is ACTUALLY a 'humanist with an imaginary friend'.

Peace to you all.

Thought for the day... The really convincing story!

Let me get this right...

According to Catholics - there is this three in one god who impregnated a virgin so he could then be born and sacrificed himself on a cross to save his own creation from his own wrath. All because a woman, who was made out of a rib, surprised him (an all knowing-god) by being convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple from a magic tree. He then, temporarily, came back from the dead (being 'all-powerful' has advantages; the sacrifice wasn't permanent), we should all eat his flesh, drink his blood, talk telepathically to him whilst being constantly reminded we are all sinners (still!).
Failure to believe in this will result in a constant, unbelievable agony for eternity.

... yeah. Evolution is just soooo stupid.

I know there have been similar posts from other bloggers like this, but it feels good to remind ourselves what we are arguing against. (sigh)

Things I do in the quest for a god...

Spent an hour on YouTube looking for 'enlightenment'. As I have said before I like to challenge my opinions, so where better will I find a range of ideas and opinions.

Yeah... I am still an atheist.

It's quite funny seeing ill informed opinions presented with such sincerity.

Play this game, watch a theist 'proof' and score points for the following:

"You can't prove god doesn't exist!"
"You can't prove [insert poorly researched scientific topic]"
"You are going to hell!"
"I found god [crazy eyed stare]" (My personal favourite)
"Atheists are stupid."
"Look at life. Therefore god exists!"
"My explanation is clearly better than an atheist one!"
"Darwin/ Dawkins/ Sagan is clearly wrong, why can't you see that!"
"The bible says so!"
"Hitler/ Mao/ Stalin etc..."
"[cyclic argument]"

There are plenty more. Feel free to add them to the comments. :-)

I might even come up with a proper scoring sheet that will give theists a 'blind faith score'.

BTW: Please vote on the new question. What percentage of the bible is true?

Last vote result.
Christian MINUS god = Nervous wreck!
Thanks to all that took part. :-)

Wine tasting?

Just to prove a point that its not just religion but other superstitious nonsense I find silly, here is an article about wine tasting.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2009/apr/18/wine-lunar-calender-tesco-supermarkets

It shows that Tesco and Marks & Spencer believe that the taste of wine is affected by the moon and the lengths they are going to to ensure it tastes 'right'. Apparently, the evidence is 'overwhelming' (sigh).

This 'biodynamic method' is gaining increasing popularity.

"Biodynamic winemaking is well established in France, Germany and the USA, and it mostly means avoiding chemical fertilisers and pesticides and encouraging biodiversity.

It also involves spraying the vines with preparations which sound more like witches' potions than agricultural aids. One involves fermenting cow manure in a cow horn, buried underground over winter. In another, oak bark is fermented in the skull of a domestic animal."

What I find a little amusing is the claim that it is a 'root day' from 8am (Sat) until 10am (Sun). I can just imagine the complaints during communion services across the country...

"Er... this blood of christ doesn't taste so nice today" ;-)

Bishop angered by Good Friday TV

The Bishop of Down and Dromore in Northern Ireland has said people should boycott television on Good Friday. (BBC News)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7991901.stm

If people wanted to have their 'souls fed' then they can go to church. I don't really see why TV should have to pick up on the failings of churches to encourage newcomers.

BTW there is a new episode of Red Dwarf on tonight. (Dave Channel 9:00pm)
And I will make a point of watching The Life of Brian on DVD as well.

You are praying in the wrong direction!!!

This was laugh out loud funny.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7984556.stm

Brilliant. Apparently some 200 mosques in Mecca (Islam's holiest city) point the wrong way to pray.

And according to the BBC: "Some worshippers are said to be anxious about the validity of their prayers."

If you are one of those unfortunate theists, then let me assure you that you are indeed going to Hell! Ignorance is not an excuse in the eyes of your god as you quite clearly did not perform your sacred duties!

Further clarification can be seen in this helpful website below. :-)
http://www.al-islam.org/laws/invalidate.html

Shame. Looks like they have been wasting their time praying... oh the irony!

Embarrassing.

Next time I put a vote out, I'll check the online urban dictionaries...

Seriously, it just means "Would you cheer if the pope got hit by someone?"

Nothing to do with self gratification. Sorry if I mislead any of you... ;-)